


Drawer of Trust

by Orrymain



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Slash, Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-22
Updated: 2003-11-22
Packaged: 2019-03-16 12:52:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13636671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orrymain/pseuds/Orrymain
Summary: Jack needs space, and Daniel decides to give it to him.





	Drawer of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Boy / Michael Shanks](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Boy_Fanfiction_Archive), wand was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Boy / Michael Shanks collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/theboymichaelshanks/profile).

Drawer of Trust

### Drawer of Trust

#### by Orrymain

Date Archived: 11/22/03  
Website:   
Status: Complete  
Category: Story, Romance, Relationship, Slash  
Characters/Pairings: Col. Jack O'Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson     Jack/Daniel         
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers:   
Permission to archive:   
Series:   
Notes:   
Warnings:   
Disclaimer:   
Summary: Jack needs space, and Daniel decides to give it to him.

* * *

Drawer of Trust  
Author: Orrymain  
Author Website: http://orrymain.raikiri.net/fanfichome.html Category: Slash, Romance, Established Relationship Pairing: Jack/Daniel .... and it's all J/D Rating: PG-13  
Season: 2 - after Bane, before Tok'ra Spoilers: None  
Size: 23kb, short story  
Written: November 3-5,11, 2003   
Archive: Area52, Comfort Zone, FanFiction.Net, Cartouche, AlphaGate, TheBoy Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers -- not mine, wish they were, especially Daniel, and Jack, too, but they aren't. This was a whim; all in fun. I don't have anything to do with them legally! Summary: Jack needs space, and Daniel decides to give it to him. Notes: Thanks to my betas who always make my fics better: Suzanna! 

Drawer of Trust  
by Orrymain 

Daniel sat quietly at the edge of his bed, staring at the bureau drawers a few feet from him. He had been sitting there, gazing at the drawers, for well over thirty minutes, his mind struggling to make a decision, one that was not easy for the young man. 

Finally, he stood and opened the top right drawer and studied the contents -- a variety of socks, handkerchiefs, a few scattered pairs of underwear. He reached over and opened the top left drawer, full of similar items. Folding his arms, Daniel stood staring at both drawers. He didn't move for 15 minutes. 

Taking a deep breath, Daniel took the contents of the right drawer and dumped them into the left, squishing the items to fit. Letting out a breath, he pushed both drawers back in and walked to his closet. 

He blinked several times, and then, almost panicked and tired of thinking so much, he arbitrarily grabbed about one-third of the items hanging and threw them into a large white garbage bag and placed the bag on the floor in the corner of the closet. 

On the verge of hyperventilating, Daniel escaped his bedroom, and ran to the balcony, seeking air. He stood hunched over, putting his hands on his knees, closing his eyes. He prayed he had made the right choice, that he hadn't just set himself up for a fall that might destroy him forever. 

* * *

It was almost 5:10 p.m., and Daniel felt cold. He went to his closet and, for the first time in a long while, he pulled out Jack's brown coat, the one Jack had given him the first night back from Abydos. Daniel held the coat close to his heart, and gently caressed the material, and then carefully, he put on the coat and headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. 

Daniel retrieved all the ingredients he needed to prepare the meal. Eventually, he stood over the hot range stirring the food items in the skillet. He thought about the coat. It was so big. He almost felt lost in it sometimes, but at the moment, Daniel also needed the security that the coat provided him. 

For a reason Daniel didn't quite understand, he needed that feeling of being protected by something ... or someone ... bigger than he. In actuality, Jack was only two inches taller than Daniel and the two often wore the other's clothes without difficulty. Daniel allowed himself a smile as he visualized just how well he and Jack truly fit together for two six foot plus fellows. 

Having seen to the salad and other dinner preparations, and with a quick look to the clock, Daniel returned to check on the main course, again standing by the range, stirring the contents of the skillet. He was still wearing the coat. 

Then, Daniel heard the twisting of the doorknob, the clanking of the keys, and the movement of his door. Daniel inhaled and let out a little cough. Suddenly, breathing became difficult again. 

A minute later, Jack stood against his lover, his hands at Daniel's waist as he kissed the man's nape. Jack rested his chin on Daniel's right shoulder and sighed, "hmmm ... smells good." 

"It's just stir fry." 

"Wasn't talking about the food. I missed you." 

Daniel blushed as Jack reached over and took the large spoon out of Daniel's hand, placing it on the range. He turned Daniel around to face him, "It's been seven hours, 22 minutes, and," checking his watch, "ten seconds, and that's way too long since we've done this," Jack kissed Daniel soundly, causing the young man to moan pleasingly as he leaned into his love, their kiss exploding within them. 

"Geez, I love that." 

"Wha...what?" 

"Those little sounds you make. I love those sounds because ... because it's because of me," Jack laughed, kissing Daniel again, and almost as if on cue, Daniel's throat let go of yet another deep moan of pleasure. 

"Just love it," Jack said again. 

"Jaaack." 

"I love you, Danny. Hey, you cold or something? I haven't seen this thing in months," Jack rubbed the coat, eyeing it up and down. 

"I was a little cold, I guess." 

"We need to get you a new coat, give this thing to good will." 

"NO!" 

Jack's head pushed back, his eyebrows raising, at the harshness of Daniel's reaction. 

"I mean ... I have a new one. I have ... lots of coats. They're in the closet." 

"Then why are you wearing this old thing?" 

Daniel looked sheepish and spoke softly, "You gave it to me when we came back from Abydos and I ... I like it. I don't want to give it away. It ... it keeps from warm when you're not here," Daniel hadn't looked at Jack, who suddenly smiled and again held his lover in his arms. 

"Gawd, I love you, and how you make me feel. My beautiful falling star who gave me my greatest wish. I'm so thankful for you, Danny, for granting my wish, even beyond what I could ever have imagined." 

"I love you, too, but I also love my stir fry and if I don't take care of it, it's going to burn, so ... let me go." 

"Well, at least I know my place on the Daniel Jackson food chain." 

"Very funny, Jack," another kiss, and then Daniel turned and went back to the focusing on the skillet of vegetables and meats. 

"Hey Danny, I need a pair of dry socks. Mine are all soggy." 

"Soggy?" Daniel chuckled. 

"Don't ask." 

Jack walked to the bedroom and opened the sock drawer. Daniel eyes suddenly widened as he dropped the spoon onto the counter and literally ran into the bedroom, finding Jack staring at an empty drawer. 

"Hmm. Danny, Love, what happened to your socks?" 

"Um," Daniel folded his arms and stared down at Jack's feet. 

"Danny? Where's your stuff?" 

Daniel pointed to the other top drawer, which Jack opened, noticing the items crammed together to fit. 

"A bit crowded, don'tcha think?" 

Daniel shrugged, still studying Jack's feet. 

"Closet," Daniel whispered. 

"Closet?" 

The young man nodded. 

Jack walked over to Daniel's closet and opened the doors, immediately seeing the open area where he knew clothes had once been. He looked over at his lover and smiled. 

Jack ambled over to Daniel, and put his arms around his waist, which forced Daniel out of the self-hug. Daniel put his hands on Jack's chest as they stood close together. 

"Something you want to tell me, Love?" 

Daniel nodded, his hands moving up to play with the collar of Jack's blue shirt. 

"Hey, Danny ..." 

"It's just ... at the house ... I mean ... my stuff ... I ... you ..." 

Jack decided to rescue his beautifully shy lover with a kiss, "Thank you, Danny. I'll be right back." 

Jack hurried out of the apartment and so Daniel went back to the kitchen, turning the burner to low, stirring it again and adding a bit of seasoning. 

A few minutes later, Jack returned with his duffel bag and headed for Daniel's bedroom. 

"This will be a great start," Jack said, opening the drawer. 

He removed the few things he had in the bag -- some underwear, socks, a couple of shirts, a pair of jeans, a pair of black pants. Then he took the black jacket he had also brought in along with a heavy sweater and hung them in the closet. He went back to the duffel bag, and pulled out the only thing left besides a pair of shoes, "I don't suppose ..." holding it for Daniel to see. 

Daniel nodded. 

"Yeah? Really?" 

Another nod, and Jack entered the bathroom and smiled, as he realized the main shelf had been cleared for his things. Jack emptied the small bag of items that included deodorant and a razor, and went back to the duffel bag, zipping it up. 

Jack beamed as he went to his lover and again scooped him into his arms, kissing him, and again, hearing that soft sweet moan that made him tingle knowing only he made Daniel respond like that. 

Daniel was very quiet as Jack held him, "This is a first for you, isn't it?" 

Daniel nodded against Jack's shoulder. 

"Are you sure, Danny? I mean, I can take everything back, keep it in the duffel bag. You don't have to do this, and Danny," Jack pulled back to make sure Daniel was looking at him, "I do mean it. It's okay. I love you, even if I don't get drawer space. Tell me, Love, and know I love you, no matter what. Tell meeeeeee...mmmmmmm." 

"Got it?" Daniel asked softly. 

"Oh yeah." 

Daniel turned and walked back to the kitchen, Jack following, a broad smile on his face. Life was good. 

* * *

Three hours later, the two lovers were snuggling on Daniel's sofa, the younger man leaning into Jack's hold. They had kissed and fondled the night away, listening to romantic love songs on the radio. It had been a quiet night, one in which their language was spoken with their fingers and lips more than with words. 

"Jack?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I've never done it before." 

"Snuggled? Now that I don't believe." 

"No," Daniel laughed, "I mean I never ... never ..." 

"... made space?" 

Daniel nodded, his shyness about to consume him again. 

"You don't have to." 

"I know, but I ... I want to." 

"I love you, Danny." 

"Jack, did you ever do it before?" 

"I was married, you geek." 

Daniel slugged Jack gently with his elbow, soliciting a teasing "ouch" from his lover. 

"Hey, I thought you loved me," Jack whined. 

"I do, so answer my question." 

"It'll destroy my Romeo-like image." 

Daniel sighed, ready to give up. 

"I'm kidding, Love," Jack kissed Daniel's head and squeezed him to reaffirm the tease. 

"Truthfully, the way we are now, this kind of ... space ... no ... which doesn't mean I didn't leave a few things here and there at some girlfriend's apartment, especially in college and the early days at the Academy when everything was done on the run so much. But," Jack sighed, hating to admit it, "the truth, My Love, is that I was pretty much a good boy, the clean cut All American type. Had 'em all fooled," he tried to joke. 

Daniel laughed, his hands caressing Jack's as he listened. 

"I swear, Daniel, you tell Ferretti or anyone at the base and I'll soooo make you suffer." 

Daniel laughed again. 

"What? You don't believe I was young and innocent once?" 

"No, I don't believe you'd make me suffer." 

"Oh," Jack acknowledged Daniel's correct assumption, but teased on with an Irish accent, "you sure of yourself, are ya now, Dannyboy?" 

Daniel laughed again, "No, but I'm ... sure of you, Jack ... never been surer of anyone before than I am in you. It's kinda scary. I mean ... does it scare you?" 

"To love you? Heck no. You're my dream come true, not scary at all." 

"You lie!" 

"You know me too well." 

"No, but I ... I want to." 

Daniel twisted around to face Jack, his hand on his lover's right cheek, "I want to know everything, Jack, every inch of you, and every part of you. Everything." 

"That'll take years." 

"Decades," Daniel smiled. 

"A lifetime." 

"Forever." 

"Forever," Jack repeated, "but I think I might bore you, and more than that, there are things ...," Jack's voice trailed off as he looked downward, remembering parts of his unpleasant past. 

Daniel kissed his lover on the lips and then looked carefully, as if he were studying an artifact. Daniel kissed Jack's cheek, and nibbled on his love's right earlobe, sending a shiver through Jack's body, and then Daniel traced a small scar, almost invisible at the base of Jack's neck. It was small, and obviously old, and was easily overlooked if not specifically looked for. 

Daniel kissed the scar, and traced it with his fingers. He looked in Jack's eyes, and said, "Tell me." 

"Danny, I can't." 

"Yes, you can." 

"It's ... classified," Jack said hesitantly. 

"I have the highest clearance, Jack." 

"I know, but there are some things better left in the past." 

"I don't believe that, not between us. I think that when you truly love someone, I mean when you feel that you've found that ... that ... when it's forever ..." 

"Danny?" 

"We fit, Jack. I mean it's like I've waited my whole life for you and ... and didn't even know it. We're so perfect together, and for the first time I feel ... gawd, Jack, it's like you complete me, as if my soul has been crying out for something I couldn't even imagine. 

"Then I met you, and something deep inside me healed. I can't tell you what. I can't even explain it. I only know that ... that it just is ... that you were that something my soul hungered for. 

"Jack, you're always telling me to talk. From the first night we came back from Abydos, you've urged me to open up to you. You said it would be good for me. I trusted you, Jack. I've trusted you with things that I didn't even realize I felt until you made me face it, whatever it was at the time. 

"I want to know everything there is to know about you, Jack. I want to know what made you laugh as a child, or what made you cry. I want to know how you felt when you tasted your first kiss, how it felt that first time you solo'd. 

"And yes, I want to know all the bad things that happened to you as well. They all add up to make you the person you are right now, right at this minute -- the Jack O'Neill that has gotten so under my skin and so deep within my soul that sometimes I don't know where you end and I begin. 

"There's nothing you can tell me that will make any difference to the way I feel about you. You run too deep within my soul. It's like you're in my blood, and I know you're in my heart. I'm ... Jack, I'm trusting you with all that I am, and I just want you to do the same thing ... that's all I'm asking." 

"Geez, Danny. Don't make me feel guilty. You know how I feel about you. You're my love, my partner, my soul mate, but please, don't ask me to do this. I can't, not yet. You don't understand. I know you want to, but ... you don't know that world, or what it was like." 

"So, you want me to bear my soul, to trust you with my fears and the things I'm ashamed of, to know that no matter what I say, you'll still love me and want me, but you don't trust me to do the same for you?" 

"Danny, there's a difference between the pain and suffering of being alone in the world, and kill... and doing things that are against your very soul." 

"So you don't trust me?" 

"I trust you with my life." 

"But not with your soul." 

"Danny ..." 

"It's okay. I understand now," Daniel said reluctantly, standing and turning off the CD in favor of the radio, selecting the local public radio station. 

Jack sensed that the romantic part of the evening had ended. If it had been quiet before, it was about to get even quieter now. 

* * *

Jack awoke, alone in Daniel's bed. He quickly got up, putting on a blue robe that he usually wore when staying overnight at his lover's apartment. When he got to the end of the hallway, he let out a big sigh, seeing Daniel standing on the balcony, self-hugging, staring out blankly. He noticed Daniel didn't have on his robe or even his slippers, but was barefoot in the chilling weather. 

The older man approached his lover, his arms wrapping around Daniel, "It's freezing out here, and geez, Danny, you're barefoot." 

"I am? I ... I guess I forgot," Daniel said softly, still not moving. 

Jack shook his head, "Come on inside." 

Jack pulled Daniel into the living room, and closed the patio doors, locking it again. Daniel was still self-hugging, staring at his fish swimming around the fish tank. Jack realized the night was going to get ugly, not from fighting, but from old memories. 

Daniel needed Jack to show him trust, the same kind of trust Daniel had given him by making space. It may not have seemed like much to some, but for Daniel Jackson to have given Jack space in his drawers, closet, and bathroom, was nothing sort of a declaration of forever, a miracle of the power of love. 

That Daniel had turned around and in the course of their conversation verbalized their foreverness had been even more astonishing. It was the first time Daniel had talked so freely and confidently about the foreverness of Jack and Daniel, and Jack feared if he didn't right his wrong, Daniel might never do it again. 

Daniel still had walls of armor shielding him that Jack vowed to get through, one at a time, but his lover had lowered one wall all on his own. He had trusted Jack to love him, to be with him, to share space with him. 

Now, all Daniel wanted was a sign of Jack's trust, a piece of Jack's past. Both knew the classified argument was nothing more than a rationale. Besides, there was nothing Jack and Daniel weren't supposed to be able to share, and that was essentially the point -- sharing, trusting. 

How many times had Jack reminded Daniel of the need of letting go of the past, of talking about his pain, of believing in Jack's love, that Jack wouldn't go away? That's all Daniel wanted in return. He didn't care about national security or departmental secrets and procedures. Daniel loved Jack. He only wanted to share Jack's pain, to help ease that pain, just as Jack had always tried to ease Daniel's nightmares. 

Jack's shutting Daniel out was, to Daniel, as if Jack was saying, "I don't trust you enough." It was a qualification of Jack's love, which wasn't at all how Jack felt. 

Watching Daniel watch the fish, Jack realized he had to give back what Daniel had given, and hope it didn't destroy himself, or diminish Daniel's love. He had to give Daniel the chance to affirm his love, just as Daniel had given Jack that chance. 

Jack walked up to Daniel, again placing his arms around him and kissing his nape. He sighed as he held his precious love in his arms. 

"Danny, remember earlier we talked about being scared?" 

"Yes." 

"Well ... I'm scared." 

Daniel turned around and looked into Jack's eyes, "Of what?" 

"Losing you. I've done things, Danny, things ... Danny, I don't regret them. They needed to be done. I followed orders. Sometimes I knew why, sometimes I knew what the prize was, but sometimes, Love, I didn't, and still don't. Doing what I did never scared me, but standing here now, looking into your eyes, I'm petrified ... that if I tell you, you won't want me to be here anymore." 

"Jack, I love you. You have to know better than that. If you can't trust me, Jack, to know you and still love you, then we don't really have anything, do we?" 

"Danny, I've done things that ... together, you and I have said were ... cruel ... and ... you know, things we've seen on other planets ... gawd, Daniel," Jack sighed, leaning his head onto Daniel's for reassurance. 

"Jack, I'm not dumb, or naive, and I'm not a child. I read the papers and I watch the news. I know what Special Ops means. I know it's nasty and hard, and ... I see Makepeace and the Marines. I hear them talking. Jack, I love you, but I'm not blind either." 

Daniel cupped Jack's face, gave him a quick kiss, and asked with all sincerity, "Do you trust me, Jack?" 

"Oh yeah." 

"Then trust me when I say that I love you, and trust that love to be understanding and true. Trust me, Jack." 

* * *

The next morning the two had a quiet breakfast. They had slept in, and had an early morning tryst before deciding to feed their other hunger. 

"I have to go by the bank, and then I'll be home. You going to be there when I get there?" 

"Yeahsureyabetcha, Colonel," Daniel teased. 

"I love downtimes," Jack laughed. 

"Me, too." 

"Pizza tonight?" 

"Okay," Daniel said with lust in his eyes. 

"I'm not going to get to watch the game, am I," Jack asked, not the least bit disappointed at the prospect. 

Daniel shook his hand, "I have another sporting event in mind for you." 

"I love your sporting events." 

"We can have our own Olympics," Daniel teased. 

"You can do the long jump, and I'll do the rowing." 

There was a pause as they did nothing but talk with their eyes, their love and devotion to each other shining brightly. 

"What time are you going to be home?" 

"Home?" 

"Home," Jack repeated firmly. 

"I love you, Jack. Geez, I love you so freakin' much." 

"Oh, Danny," Jack started a new round of kissing that lasted ten minutes before they paused. 

"You'd better go or ..." 

"Or I'll never get out of here ... which ... actually, wouldn't be so bad." 

"Go on, Babe. I'll be there in a while." 

Jack kissed Daniel and headed for the door. 

"Jack?" 

Jack turned and looked. 

"Don't forget, we want to bring a few more of your things here tomorrow." 

"How could I forgot that? Thank you, Danny." 

"It's just a drawer." 

"No, it's more than that, so much more. Love you," Jack said, hurrying out the door and heading for his truck. 

A minute or two later, Jack sat his pick up, replaying the last 24 hours. Daniel had given him trust and Jack wouldn't let him down. Jack closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. He had opened up a part of himself to Daniel last night that he hadn't known was possible. 

He didn't care that the "rules" would say he was wrong to tell Daniel about the mission. What he did care about, was the look on his lover's face when he had given that part of himself to Daniel, when he had finally allowed himself to say, "this is what I've done ... do you still love me?" 

He smiled, remembering the total look of love Daniel had given him. It hadn't been easy. The mission that Daniel had asked about had been one of the worst. Innocent people, including children, had died, but Daniel hadn't been repulsed, nor had he judged Jack. What he had done was ... love him, and it had felt good. 

Jack was jolted out of his thoughts, when his lover opened the passenger door and hopped in. Jack looked in amazement as Daniel leaned over and kissed him, long and hard, causing Jack to moan from the sensation. 

"I thought you had some things to do, and you wanted to have your car at the house?" Jack asked. 

"I missed you, and we have your truck if we want to go somewhere, and ... I love you." 

"Geez, what you do to me ..." 

Daniel grinned, "Oh, Jack, you haven't seen anything yet. Are you sure you need to go to bank?" 

"Bank? What bank?" 

The two laughed as they held hands for a few moments before Jack put the truck in gear and headed for home. 

"Oh yeah, life is good," Jack thought to himself, "darn good." 

~~Finis - Finished - Done - The End - But is it ever Really?~~   
  


* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Orrymain


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